Is Your Workplace Culture Your Biggest Security Vulnerability?

Tomorrow is Halloween, and as per tradition, all of us are focused on things that go bump in the night—dangers that lurk outside, in the unknown. This is especially true in the business setting. We all like to think the threats we face are faceless and unknown, but it is certainly not unheard of for the call to come from inside the house.

To demonstrate this, we’ve reworked Edgar Allen Poe’s tale of Hop-Frog. I hope you enjoy and, more importantly, think about what it can tell us.

I never knew somebody who enjoyed a joke as much as that manager did. He seemed to joke about everything. If you could make him laugh, he would like you. As such, his whole department turned out to be made up of jokers and tricksters.

This manager’s jokes weren’t very intellectual, either. He greatly preferred the kind of prank where someone suffered in some way, whether in their ego or in mild physical pain.

There was one exception, as there usually is, whose professional role seemed to be the butt of the joke. Sincerely funny in his own right, this man, slight and fragile, much preferred humor that helped uplift or spoke truth to power. This did little to protect him from the jibes and insults of his cohort.

As a child, this man had sustained an injury that still impacted him decades later, creating a persistent weakness in one leg that led him to walk with a sort of hop in his gait as he worked to keep pressure off his limb. Of course, his manager and the rest of the department caught on to this and cruelly gave him the name “Pogo Peter.” This man’s name wasn’t even Peter, but the nickname caught on so deeply that even HR would have to check the paperwork to confirm his real name.

Fortunately, Pogo Peter was not alone in his torment. One of the women in another department, Allegra, had become his friend and always used her influence (far more impactful than Pogo Peter’s) to help him get by.

One day, a very valuable prospect reached out—I cannot remember who it was—and the manager tasked Pogo Peter and Allegra with converting them through a special presentation. This decision was strategic, as the two of them had mastered the art of hosting such events.

When the scheduled time arrived, Pogo Peter and Allegra had outdone themselves. The conference room was artfully prepared, with informational packets assembled and set out according to a carefully crafted seating chart. The many internal attendees had been given their responsibilities weeks in advance. All details were seen to and agreed upon… except for those that applied to this one manager and the lackeys he managed. I’m not sure why they pushed back so much. They were either being exceptionally indecisive, or (as I find more likely) they were intentionally trying to antagonize the organizer. At some point, they summoned Pogo Peter and Allegra for a planning meeting.

When the meeting assembled, the entire department was present. Once they were all there, the manager grinned at Pogo Peter, a malicious glint in his eye.

“You know, Pogo,” the manager began. “I understand that you don’t always feel like you fit in, and we wanted to help you change that. Come on now, and join our little game of ribbing. Poke some fun at Miss Allegra, here, for instance.”

Pogo Peter took a deep breath, feeling tears well up despite himself. He was not afraid of insulting Allegra—she understood his quandary as well as he did—but he still did not want to participate in these cheap games. He quickly made a despicable joke at Allegra’s expense and looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with anyone as the entire department laughed uproariously.

“Very good, Pogo. Now that we’re all participating, tell us… how can we make as large an impression on this new prospect as possible?”

Pogo Peter paused, desperately trying to come up with an idea.

The manager’s minuscule patience ran out. “Come on,” he bellowed, pounding a fist on the conference table. “We need a real show-stopper, so think of something.”

At this point, Allegra spoke up in her friend’s defense. “Sir, let him think for a moment. You’ve only just told—”

The manager interrupted her by calling her a name so vile that I cannot morally record it here. Allegra stopped and moved her gaze to the papers in front of her, laid on the table. At that moment, the room filled with a loud, crackling noise that echoed around the room and was impossible to trace to its source.

The boss presumptively turned to Pogo Peter. “What are you doing to make that noise?”

Pogo Peter responded, “I don’t know what you mean; that wasn’t me.”

The manager grunted, taking the man at his word, although it seemed that the sound stopped once he gained Pogo Peter’s attention.

“I have come up with something, however.” Pogo Peter shifted himself in his seat. “I think it’s important that this prospect see how organized we are when we work with them. Everyone in the department will need to participate—”

“Not a problem,” the manager interjected.

“Excellent, that makes things easier. Anyways, the client is going to want all-hands-on-deck service, right? We can rearrange all our company data to be more accessible to everyone in the building so we can all be sure we can collaborate, demonstrating that during the meeting.”

“Hmm, I’m intrigued.” The manager nodded thoughtfully.  

“I can take care of assembling all this data, but I’ll need everyone’s login to make it look like everyone participated.”

The group nodded excitedly, scribbling their details on scrap pieces of paper and sliding them over for Pogo Peter to collect.

“Excellent. I want this done tonight, Pogo, as the meeting is tomorrow.”

The next day, Allegra had a virtual meeting room prepared for this momentous conference, and when all but Pogo Peter had logged on, a lively conversation started up about opportunities that truly impressed the prospective client.

Pogo Peter suddenly joined the meeting.

“Hello, hello, I am sorry I’m late. I’d love to get right to things and help you get to know the type of business you’ll be working with.” As he said this, he began presenting his screen to the group.

The excitement that the manager and his department felt quickly evaporated. On Pogo Peter’s screen were long records of private chats between team members, many of them insulting clients and otherwise revealing the department’s true colors. Company financials flashed across the screen, belonging to both the company and many of its existing clients. Extensive HR records appeared, detailing submitted wrongs that had never been addressed. The prospect was given a direct view of everything Pogo Peter detested about the company, souring them immediately. The department, the manager, and the business itself were all burned.

The rest of the department started shouting in response, realizing their microphones were muted and that they lacked permission to change that. As a result, it took them a moment to hear the same crackling that had interrupted their initial meeting. This time, however, they could see the source of the noise.

Pogo Peter’s hands were so tightly clenched in fists of rage that his knuckles cracked and popped loudly enough to be picked up by his microphone. It was so loud, in fact, that it almost drowned out his words as he spoke. “I’m just glad you got the chance to see who these people are before you tied your business to them,” Pogo Peter said to the shocked prospect, “and before I did this.”

With that, Pogo Peter clicked the Enter key, and everyone could see the entire collection uploaded to the Internet, emailed to news outlets, shared on message boards and forums, and distributed across social media. All their data was loose on the open web, including every internal communication they had ever shared about their clients.

“I’ve seen the kind of people who had power in this business. Bullies, abusers, and the most vulgar assortment of animals imaginable. I will no longer tolerate their company, which means I can no longer tolerate this company. Pogo Peter,” he said through gritted teeth, “is no more.”

With that, he ended the meeting, leaving the others too panicked and enraged to consider what this scale of data breach would mean for them.

The next day, Allegra also didn’t show up, apart from a letter of resignation appearing in her manager’s inbox. Nobody doubted she had aided in this effort. No one in the company ever heard from either of them again.

***

While events like this are fortunately extremely rare, this story highlights some important considerations every business must make to protect itself. First, a positive company culture is critical to keeping your team members happy, engaged, and productive. If the manager and his department’s behaviors were less toxic, things probably wouldn’t have escalated to the point they did. 

Even if they did, a business that practices the principle of least privilege would be relatively protected from such events. No one person needs access to everything, so no one person should have it. Don’t make the same mistake in your business and restrict access to what each person needs to do their job.

Direct Technology Group is here to help. Enjoy the holiday, and reach out to us to help protect your business against all the scary things out there. Give us a call at (954) 739-4700.